I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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