Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize