I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
