dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
