So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize