what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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