I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We need a shit load of segways right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize