margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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