i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am one with the molecules
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
