bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
