Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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