he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
