Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
