my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we made out on top of his cat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
