i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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