I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
