Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
