where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
id be glad to
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
