Don't you send me to vm
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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