So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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