ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
