i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He did a backflip because drugs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
