The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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