so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
