no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to fling myself into the sun
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
