8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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