I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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