Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
