is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
