when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
