When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
