He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
