these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
