We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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