break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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