While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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