Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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