My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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