Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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