so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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