Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
