I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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