her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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