You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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