i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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