Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
