You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize