OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
