I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize