So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
