Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
