If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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