Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
