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you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The uberlube is also flammable
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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