So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
