I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
