He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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