Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
