Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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