just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
