I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
