do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
