Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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